Our 21st Century lives have experienced such a rush in acceleration that it seems everything we do is about reaching a personal endpoint before Death overtakes us.The cosmic joke’s on us, though: from the moment of conception to the final cough, none of us are ever actually “alive” here.
Our cells immediately begin to decay the moment they’re formed.
We’re essentially constantly dying rather than living, which makes it more accurate to consider our mortal existence the longest, most intricate cinematic death scene ever filmed.
And like any good death scene, we should enjoy the scenery as much as possible while we’re here.Why shouldn’t you take life too seriously?
Because you’re a pleasant-smelling zombie who’s, hopefully, a halfway decent cook.
We’ve all heard a variation of “gods laugh when they hear our plans.”
We’re constantly inundated with plans: parents plan for their children; a child plans for uninterrupted glee; teenagers plan for sulky behavior, college, careers, and the discovery of their true “selves.”
Through it all, there’s a constant: your plans mean nothing to a random, chaotic universe which increasingly seems to have the most warped sense of humor ever.
One need only look at who gets handed the keys to the most dangerous weapons on the planet.So write nothing in stone, for it will send shards of rock into your face when it explodes.
Turning life into a goal to beat rather than a state of being to be experienced takes loads of joy away from the simplest things. And the simplest things are the best things.
Of these six things, which would you rather do?
- watch leaves drift from a tree
- let an ice cube melt from nothing but the heat in your mouth
- kiss someone quite slowly simply for the pleasure of kissing
- speak with insurance companies about rate quotes
- have every morning’s dream shattered so you can wake up on time for a 90-minute commute
- every other month solemnly tell a lover “We need to talk.”
ABC all the way.
We experience joy by being present, not by parsing it out days, months, or years away.
Life is weird in that it’s so wildly coincidental it verges on slapstick.
For days your dreams feature robins, then one day you come home to a baby robin fallen from its nest, hopping through your unkempt lawn.
Of course you try to rescue it, but it hops away through a gap in your fence and is gone. Plus the mama and daddy birds are screeching at you in disturbing ways. You have seen Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, so you go inside.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. – Albert Einstein
We are all here on Earth to help others; what on Earth the others are here for I don’t know. – W. H. Auden
It must be around forty, when you’re “over the hill.” I don’t even know what that means and why it’s a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I’m past the hard part and there’s a snack in my future. That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned. – Ellen DeGeneres
Even if you fall flat on your face, you’re still moving forward. – Victor Kiam
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour. – Truman Capote
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it. – Danny Kaye
If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. – Regina Brett
It doesn’t matter if you have new parts, old parts or spare parts. You can shine no matter what you’re made of. – Bigwell robots
If you love somebody, set them free—it also works equally well if you hate somebody. – Josh Stern
The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. – John E. Southard
Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball. – Mitzi Chandler
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar
The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time. – Joe Girard
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Unknown
You oughta be thankful. A whole heaping lot. For the people and places. You’re lucky you’re not. – Dr. Seuss
I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Edison
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain
Expect problems and eat them for breakfast. – Alfred A. Montapert
You can’t expect to hit the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine. – Flip Wilson
I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. – Arthur Conan Doyle
Read more funny quotes in LAUGH A LITTLE: A collection of short funny quotes and jokes>>